tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64840445974448479622024-02-20T11:22:12.444-08:00 My Bipolar Diary FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.comBlogger117125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-70431110275283066732016-07-02T07:32:00.000-07:002016-07-02T07:32:28.061-07:0018 januari 2016 15.28<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;">I make sense now. </span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why I am as I am. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My struggles makes sense. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My pain makes sense. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My crazy, happy, giggly mind makes sense. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It all makes sense now. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I look back and I see it clearly. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why I am as I am. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It makes sense.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">- Me </span></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-13244805678231245542016-01-31T11:01:00.000-08:002016-01-31T11:01:41.895-08:0018 januari 2016 10.27<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;">How can you explain for someone</span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">when you have a mental illness</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">what is me and what is not. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Like a person with cancer isn't cancer. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">A person with cancer has cancer</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">like a tumor within. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am not bipolar. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I have a bipolar disorder. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I have an illness in my brain. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am not this illness</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And I can clearly feel the difference. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Between me and my torment.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So how do I explain that? </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">How do I explain what is me to others? </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And what is not. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-85133357232478162052016-01-31T10:38:00.003-08:002016-01-31T10:38:59.804-08:0018 januari 2016 00.51<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill gärna slippa. </span></span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Slippa från all smärtan. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Slippa från den här fruktansvärda sjukdomen och dess tortyr. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Men så tänker jag på dina kyssar. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så tänker jag på hur du rör vid min hud. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Hur det känns,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">att vara nära dig. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Om jag slipper allt det groteska så slipper jag också dina kyssar. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så slipper jag också din hud mot min hud. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Och det är något jag aldrig vill slippa. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är något som ger mening till mitt liv. Att vara nära dig. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så därför, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">därför står jag ut. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-83967921399304823042016-01-31T10:37:00.002-08:002016-01-31T10:37:53.842-08:0018 januari 2016 00.20<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I just realized why it calms me down to write. </span></span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why it makes me feel less alone. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When I write I feel like I'm talking. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I feel like I'm talking and somebody is listening. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So when I write I am together with you. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am telling you my story and you hear me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That's<span style="line-height: 16.5pt;"> why I write. </span></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I write so that you and I, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">we can be together. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-33722657641028508312016-01-31T10:28:00.000-08:002016-01-31T10:29:53.343-08:0018 januari 2016 00.14 <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">It's so freakin obvious that I'm bipolar.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Why am I the only one to see it? </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">I know I'm controlled. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">I don't act out. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">I stay at home even when I'm so sick most people would go to the hospital. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">But I've been to the hospital twice, and that wasn't much of a help. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Few days until I'm going to the doctors again. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">He need to get it. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">He need to hurry up. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: white; font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">I need some help. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.701961); font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; font-size: 17px;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-9830809201921109162016-01-31T10:25:00.000-08:002016-01-31T10:25:10.804-08:0017 januari 2016 23.03<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;">Alla säger att jag ser så bra ut. </span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag får komplimanger och dem säger att jag ser mycket bättre ut nu. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vet inte om det är bra eller dåligt. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Att jag ser ut som en som mår bra. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">När jag på insidan är så nära att släppa taget. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">När jag på insidan mår så fruktansvärt som dem inte ens kan föreställa sig i deras vildaste fantasi. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så tydligen ser jag bra ut. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Bra ut på utsidan trots att insidan </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">äter mig levande. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
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FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-79610254698696299522016-01-31T10:23:00.001-08:002016-01-31T10:23:38.041-08:0017 januari 2016 19.54<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: white;">When he kiss me my life is perfect</span></span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">even if I feel sick inside. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When he holds me <span style="line-height: 16.5pt;">I feel complete, </span></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">even if I'm tormented. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He doesn't know how my insides feel like, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but he loves me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He loves me just the way I am. </span></div>
<div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-24944935650924227582016-01-31T10:22:00.000-08:002016-01-31T10:22:19.330-08:0017 januari 2016 14.23<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: white;">It's shameful</span></span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and why is it shameful? </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Because I am ill. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I have this illness that haunts me,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and it's shameful. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It's shameful because I'm not me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm sad</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">because my mind broke. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm tormented </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">because my body is in despair. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And it's shameful,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">it's shameful. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That I am ill. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That I am not me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Not the one I used to be. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Because I'm sick</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;">And it's shameful.</span><span style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7019607843137254);"> </span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-80933755172077116882016-01-31T10:21:00.000-08:002016-01-31T10:21:10.006-08:0017 januari 2016 14.09<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: white;">It's like being thrown </span></span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">in an oversized tumble dryer. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It all spins,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">all the time. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You get nauseous.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Your head hits the sides</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and it hurts. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You want to cry.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You want to scream.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You want to get out. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It's all like being thrown</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">in an oversized tumble dryer. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It sucks. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It really do suck. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-65749179004323958182016-01-31T10:19:00.000-08:002016-01-31T10:19:40.445-08:0017 januari 2016 00.34<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;">And he was her only one. </span><br />
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When he was by her side she was present. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He was the only one that could bring her out from within. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">When he kissed her hair so gently she lit up. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He brought her out from her thoughts and big emotions. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He rescued her from her depths. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He was her savior for a moment, </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">until they said farewell and she slipped back into her world. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Her world of too many thoughts and too deep emotions. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: uictfonttextstylebody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The world that drowned her in her own sea. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-38357997237234195362016-01-31T10:17:00.000-08:002016-01-31T10:17:53.758-08:0016 januari 2016 17.54<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;">I want to burst, </span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to get out of myself. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to shed the coat of meat that's holding me down. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That makes me drag my feet, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">even though I'm not really this meat. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm not really this costume at all. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to get out, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to escape it. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My soul is crying out for freedom,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It had enough. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to feel all the vibrant colors,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to sense. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">All the emotions and sensations,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to fly high, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">up in the wind. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I hate this vibration,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It's way to slow for me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It slows me down and haunts me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It throws mud all around. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to laugh and love, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and visit different places. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My heart has a longing </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">that cannot be met. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to cry out </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">to the monsters to leave me, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">the ones that are holding me by my feet. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">They are such a heavy burden, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">they all just make me wanna weep. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This shithole I sank into, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to get out.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to feel the sun,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">burning on my skin of this meatcoat, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">so that it fills me with warmth deep inside. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I feel trapped in this cage that produces thought, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">this little lump of fat that's the controller inside my head. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I can feel life so much more intense than that, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and I know that this body is just too flawed. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I need the light to shine on me again, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">so bright so that I can see. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">All the beauty around me, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and all the beauty within me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I hear the words almost out loud, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">while I'm writing. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I hear them as a part of me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But they are sent from a place high above me, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">a place that I'm longing to see. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm tired of all this waiting, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to live or just let it be. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to shed my clothes that are hanging, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">hanging to heavy for me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So please God if you hear me, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">can you help me,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">can you set my spirit free?</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I have such a longing for real life,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">real life but just without me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I feel so extremely heavy, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and everything is weighting down on me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to shed my limbs and hurdles, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to be the authentic me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm longing for freedom, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm longing for space. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want my spirit to soar. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">On this earth plane or another,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I just want to let go. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So please God would you help me, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">help me get out of this dress? </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It's to small now I can feel it, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">it's just not good anymore. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I have so much desire and longing, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I have so much will just to be.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The piece of you that I was promised, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">the piece that you said you would free. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The words keep on singing, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and I could write you from dust until dawn. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So please God will you hear my prayer, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and free me from this yawn. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You know I'll be grateful, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I always am. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My meatcoat is out of fashion, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and I need it fixed to continue ahead. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I have such a need for freedom, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">freedom from the burdens you've put on me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So please God now you have to listen, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">listen and let me be. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The angel you told me I was becoming, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">the angel tucked deep inside of me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Let her spread her wings now, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">because she wants to try them for the very first time. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She's been caged up way to long now, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and she is aching all over again. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So find the key and let her wings carry her, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">carry her to wherever she wants to go. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She is such a free spirit, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">way to pure to be wasted, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and she just has one wish out for you.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Let her soar once again within my laughter, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">let her out of that meatcoat of hers. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She is grown up now, she promise,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">she is ready to hit new grounds. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There were so much learning and for that she is thankful, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but her longing is to be free. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Be free to be whoever she wants to, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and not be trapped inside of me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So God I'm calling you, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">one very last time. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Take her out of my ribcage,</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">take her out into the light.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She needs some affection, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">she's been damaged.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She needs some love and some time. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But one day she'll fly like she wants to, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">fly high up into the sky. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">From there she will look back with joy and with laughter, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">she'll see how she grew up and enjoyed. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The hardship and blessings God gave her, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">the role she was casted to play. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Now the play is over and she has some time to think, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">think about what it all meant to her. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She has no regrets she has just a longing, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">longing to be free as she is. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So God let her fly out from my ribcage, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">he finally set her free. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And she was soaring with love and with gratitude, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">for everything that she got to see. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She would never trade her time in the meatcoat, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">for anything else on earth. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But now when she's flying, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">she sees it all so clear. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The lessons so precious that he gave just to her. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Thank you, she said when she set of, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">gaining more hight as she went. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Her burdens had all been lifted, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">lifted and made her light as a day. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">A day without any ending, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and a day with only sunshine within. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So she's never to far of away now, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">she is just sitting here next to me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But now she's smiling, she's once filled with joy again, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">because he let her spread her wide wings. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She laughed when she tried them for the first time, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and her laughter, I can hear it still. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She lives underneath my ribcage, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but she is no longer bound to a place.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She is free to do what she wishes, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">she is free to soar up in the sky. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She was never much into this meatcoat, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">this meatcoat that just dragged her down. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So God let her be what she was made to, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">an angel living inside my heart. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And she never leaves, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">because I became her. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">We are sharing every heartbeat and breath. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So when she flies, I fly with her, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">high above in the sky. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She is the angel without the meatcoat, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and I am one with her. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So if you call me and I'm not here to greet you, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">just look up and you'll see me with her.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">We are flying above all you meatcoats, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">looking at life from afar. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">We are laughing, and dancing and playing, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">we are making loops as we fly higher than high.</span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She is the angel without her meatcoat, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and she is living inside of me. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And if you look closely you will see her, </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">see her and set her free. </span></div>
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-82331189566612243182016-01-31T10:14:00.001-08:002016-01-31T10:14:45.154-08:0016 januari 2016 13.48<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: white;">Depression is such a waste of life. </span></span><br />
<div style="font-size: 17px;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;">Screw you illness.</span><span style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7019607843137254);"> </span></span><br />
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-63877459274982608722016-01-15T20:46:00.000-08:002016-01-15T20:46:08.079-08:00Besviken<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jag har höga krav till mig själv</span> </span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">och stora drömmar i livet. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är inte bra. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är inte bra för det gör en bara besviken. </span></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-29004311193481511302016-01-15T20:44:00.003-08:002016-01-15T20:44:48.014-08:00Förbi<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Man vet inte att man har upplevt</span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;">det allra bästa i sitt liv, </span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">förrän det är över. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Förrän att hela den perioden </span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">då man var så lycklig är förbi. </span></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-80171982446517399782016-01-15T20:43:00.000-08:002016-01-15T20:43:10.730-08:00Tokig<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large; line-height: 16.5pt;">Jag blir tokig, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">på att var tokig. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-63037098329545383392016-01-15T20:39:00.000-08:002016-01-15T20:39:33.550-08:00Vill LEVA <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jag sitter här på min säng och min själ den skriker allt vad den</span> bara kan. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag har fått nog, den har fått nog. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill ut! Jag vill ut nu! </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill LEVA! Jag vill MÄRKA livet. Märka MITT liv. Märka MIG. Inte bara märka smärta och tortyr. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag är trött och färdig med all den smärtan och all den tortyr. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är SÅ mycket liv inne i mig. SÅ mycket liv i mig som vill komma ut. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Som alltid har varit där men som aldrig har fått komma ut fullständigt. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill dansa, jag vill älska. Jag vill kramas, jag vill hoppa, jag vill sjunga. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag har SÅ mycket att GE! </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Och så ska jag få den här förbannade sjukdomen som bara ska förstöra ALLT! Förstöra alla mina chanser till ett normalt, välfungerande liv. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är mitt i natten och jag har nästan lust att gå ut. Jag vill dansa, jag vill vara bland människor. Jag vill kyssas. Jag vill möta en man som är tokig i mig. Som åtrår mig så att han inte kan hålla fingrarna borta. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill känna att jag är LEVANDE. Inte det här. Inte det här depressionslortet. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Men allt det här spänner benen för mig. Min kropp har förändrats. Jag vantrivs i den. Jag känner mig tjock. Jag känner mig inte det minsta sexig. Mina krav till mig själv är enorma. Det har dem alltid varit. Jag har alltid velat ha en perfekt kropp. En platt mage och en liten fast rumpa. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Och nu när jag inte haft krafter till att träna och hela min kropp gör ont, så ser min kropp ut som allt annat än jag önskar. </span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vet att jag inte kan klandra mig själv för det. Jag vet att jag är tapper som överlever. Men jag vill vara slank, jag vill vara vältränad. Jag vill trivas i min kropp.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag har trivts i min kropp i få månader i mitt liv och det var när jag var hypomanisk. Då var min kropp lätt som en fjäder, och mina ben var äntligen smala. Jag har alltid hatat mina ben och min rumpa för att det alltid varit allt för mycket fett på dem. Jag har aldrig sett bra ut i jeans och dem kläder jag önskat att klä mig i. Inte sedan jag gick i 9 klass och sedan i perioder då jag har gått ner i vikt. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Min kropp har alltid varit min största börda i livet. Vi har aldrig varit vänner. Och det plågar mig så. För jag älskar kläder och jag älskar färger. Och jag önskar mer än något att kunna klä mig i sexiga underkläder och fina kläder och känna att jag trivs. Känna att jag trivs inne i mig själv. Men det gör jag inte. Och speciellt inte nu. Speciellt inte sedan jag blev sjuk. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Mitt utseende är jätte viktigt för mig och jag har bara varit nöjd när jag har varit som smalast. Men det har ändå funnits något som inte var bra nog, men då trivdes jag och passade i mina kläder iallafall. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är utmattande att ha haft ett liv som alltid varit en sån kamp. Alltid en sån kamp mot sig själv. Alltid en kamp om att känna sig bra nog. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag har kämpat så hårt för att känna mig bra nog, och så kommer allt det här och förstör allt. Förstör allt för mig. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill bara vara en av dem som inte ska kämpa med att andas varenda dag. Varenda sekund. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det har inte alltid varit så. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det har aldrig varit som nu. Men ända sedan mitt liv började så har det varit en kamp. Varje dag en kamp. Om det inte har varit mot mig själv och min kropp, så har det varit mot maten. Eller så har det varit en kamp för att sätta gränser, en kamp för att säga nej eller våga säga vad jag känner. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Alltid en kamp. Oavsett vad. Alltid en kamp. En sån hård kamp. </span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Och nu är det värre än någonsin. Nu är det en kamp som jag nästan håller på att förlora. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så min själ skriker. Den vill UT. Den vill ut och LEVA. </span><br />
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Leva som andra människor. Den vill NJUTA av livet nu. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Jag vill njuta av livet nu. </span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill inte vara psykiskt sjuk, jag vill inte ha en depression. Jag vill inte ha dåligt självförtroende. Jag vill inte vantrivas i min kropp. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill LEVA. Jag vill leva mitt liv, för om jag inte snart får leva mitt liv, så vet jag inte vad poängen är. Så vet jag inte varför jag ska vara här. För jag klarar inte smärta mer. Jag vill inte ha mer smärta. Jag vill leva. Nu vill jag bara LEVA. </span></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-8205243792585531712016-01-15T20:26:00.001-08:002016-01-15T20:26:58.139-08:00Earth<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: large;">This place could ruin any sensitive, passionate soul.</span> </span></span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is no room for honesty. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is too little colors. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The crazy and different people get judged.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is way to little love. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">We give so few kisses and </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">we barley hug. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It's a world of to much work and not enough play. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">What about all the laughter, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">what about all the love. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">What about dancing and singing, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">making love every day.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Touching, hugging, telling your life story, crying, giggling. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This place is so limited. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There are so many boxes. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why are there so many boxes? </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why are there so many lies? </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why does it get so complicated? </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why are everybody so scared? </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Why just not love, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">why just not give it your all? </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This place is so limited, so dull. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is so much life in me,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">I have such a need for giving and receiving love. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">But I find this place so gray, so limited. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">I miss hugging with everything I got, I miss kissing, kissing until you're out of breath. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">I miss laughing until I cry. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">I miss jumping in water puddles. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">I miss feeling the passion inside of people. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">I miss feeling the passion in this world. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">The compassion in this world. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">Me and this place don't talk the same language. My world looks more like wonderland. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">Where everything is see thru and full of colors. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">Where everybody are open and friendly and driven by love only. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;">I want to live in a place like that. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to live in wonderland. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Where I can dance, kiss, laugh and love and where there would be no harm to be found. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Only passion and the deepest of love.</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-69860394025046149522016-01-15T20:23:00.004-08:002016-01-15T20:23:46.699-08:00See thru<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'm not perfect but</span> </span></span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm real. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm authentic. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm as real as it gets. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;">See thru with no disguise.</span> </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-14680459424309697312016-01-15T20:22:00.002-08:002016-01-15T20:22:50.533-08:00I want life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white; font-size: large;">I want to feel life deeply.</span></span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to kiss hard. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to laugh even harder. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to cry in your arms. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to make love passionately. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to be excited over little things. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to care so much it makes my eyes tear up. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to learn new things. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to try everything you could ever try. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to see the world, all of it. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to be of service, I want to help. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to spread my love, I want to comfort you. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to feel all the nuances of everything and everyone. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to inhale all experiences possibly in this life. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to explore everything that is known to man. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I never want to stop being so curious. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There is no part of life I don't love. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want it all. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to feel it all. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So very deeply. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The passion that lives in my heart, </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">the fire that burns inside of me,</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want that from life. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to taste every bit of this life. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That's who I am. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Passionate, fiery, deep, sensitive, strong but yet fragile.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want it all. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I want to feel all the tiniest parts of this life and I want to feel them so deeply. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And all of it, all of it I want to share with you. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-53831862296122263332016-01-15T20:21:00.000-08:002016-01-15T20:21:00.013-08:00Sorgligt<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: large;">Det är så sorgligt.</span> </span></span><br />
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är så sorgligt allt det här.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Ibland får jag glimtar av mig själv och mitt liv, i mitt minne. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Av hur allt var innan allt det här.</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Då jag fortfarande var en del av livet </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">och hade så många planer och jag vaknade och gjorde vad jag älskade varje dag. </span></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Bara att vakna på morgonen älskade jag. Bara att vara levande var en helt fantastisk fest. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Därför är det så sorgligt. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så sorgligt att vara så plågad, att man inte kan njuta det allra finaste, som detta livet verkligen är. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag är så mycket i överlevnads mode, att jag för det mesta har glömt hur det var att vara jag. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Hur det var att vakna på morgonen med ett leende och vara ivrig att starta min dag. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag var alltid så tacksam, för jag kunde märka livet så djupt. Men allt jag såg var vackert och det gladde mig så att bara få vara en del av det stora hela. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Depression är så långt från mitt sanna jag som man någonsin kan komma. Det gör det bara ännu mer sorgligt för det här är verkligen bara inte jag. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag älskar livet och alla dess färger. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är så mycket jag vill uppnå och ge ut. Jag har fortfarande idéer och tankar, men dem slås ut av min sjukdom som inte ger mig någon chans till återhämtning. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag sitter och äter just nu och medan jag äter blir jag så dålig. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vet inte varför det händer, men det är inte alltid och inte alltid lika illa. Idag har det varit mer extremt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;">Jag kan inte ens beskriva känslan jag får när jag ätit. Så jag slutar nu och hoppas att jag kan köra hem och få lite sömn. Vet inte sist när jag har sovit på natten och inte endast på morgonen. Det var månader sedan sist.</span> </span></div>
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FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-7428093092553287152016-01-15T20:13:00.000-08:002016-01-15T20:13:06.127-08:00Vår kärlek<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; line-height: 16.5pt;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kärlek är inte det som saknas.</span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: white; line-height: 16.5pt;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kärlek har vi i överflöd.</span> </span></div>
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FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-83546428186295980162016-01-15T20:12:00.000-08:002016-01-15T20:12:15.641-08:00Om bara<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Om jag bara kunde se mig själv genom dina ögon.</span> </span><br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Om jag bara kunde känna mig själv genom ditt hjärta. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så hade jag varit allt det jag är. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så hade det inte funnits några problem. </span></div>
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FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-35906568259607390202016-01-15T19:14:00.002-08:002016-01-15T19:14:54.043-08:00På gränsen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Jag tror inte jag klarar det.</span> </span><br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag tror inte att jag kommer att klara det här. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag sitter i omklädningsrummet och gråter. Kämpar mot tårarna så att ingen ska se. Lyssnar på musik. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag är så trött. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag ser dina ögon framför mig. Dina vackra isblå ögon. </span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag ser dig när du gråter. När smärtan fyller dig. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag kan märka det och det kan jag inte bära. Jag kan inte bära att göra det mot dig. Jag kan inte bära att göra det mot er alla. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Så jag gråter, för jag kan snart inte mer. Jag tror snart inte att jag klarar det. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag tänker på min pappa. Känner den smärta det ger honom att veta hur jag lider. När den fyller mig så kan jag inte vara i mig själv. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag önskar att jag var hans lyckliga glada dotter. Utan bekymmer så att han kunde få ro. Så att han kunde få njuta sina sista år utan att vara ledsen. Utan att vara ledsen för att jag är sjuk. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag ser ansiktena på alla dem jag älskar en efter en. </span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kristina min lilla diamant. Anna-Panna min älskade gumma. Min andra Anna och Ida. Anette, Nina min ärkeängel. Den andra Nina min fjäril. Shannon som förstår mig. Min svärmor som älskar mig så. Jack som varit ett stöd och låtit mig leva ut min passion för att prata med dem döda. Alla dem underbara människorna i cirkeln. Dem är alla i mitt hjärta. Sandie, Therese i gymmet. Ja alla i LG som känner mig och kramar mig och pussar mig och heppar på mig. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Moira, Sheila, Tim. Alla dem jag känner från England. Shannan i USA som är så söt och underbar. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Rikke min syster yster, Marika en ängel, min andra Rikke från uni. Sarah L, Lilly, Tanja, Maria J, listan tar aldrig slut. Det är så många människor som har berört mig, som har en del i mitt liv. Liten eller stor. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag ser allas ansikten framför mig. Jag ser min familj. Mina bröder. Anna och Hanna, mina brorsdöttrar. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Min moster och hennes familj. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Det är så många som jag älskar. Som älskar mig. </span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Varför skulle jag då få denna groteska sjukdom..</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;">Jag ser alla deras ansikten och jag känner varenda en av deras själar. Och mitt hjärta gråter. Min hjärta gråter, för jag vet inte om jag kan klara det här. Jag vet inte hur länge till jag kan överleva detta monstret. Detta monstret av sjukdom som äter mig rå.</span> </span></div>
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FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-50912165956099739162016-01-15T19:08:00.001-08:002016-01-15T19:08:15.955-08:00Snälla, snälla<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0980392); color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 17px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Så drack jag en proteinshake på gymmet och plötslig blev jag ännu</span> sämre igen. </span><br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill gråta. Att dricka en proteinshake får mig till att vilja gråta. Att tänka en tanke får mig till att vilja gråta. Att träna får mig till att vilja gråta. Allt jag gör vill förr eller senare få mig till att vilja börja gråta. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kampen är där hela tiden. Mellan mig och känslorna. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Nu känns det igen som jag slits i tusen bitar, allt för att jag har druckit en proteinshake. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">En proteinshake som påverkar min kropp, som i sin tur påverkar min hjärna, som i den grad påverkar mig.</span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag kan snart inte mer. Hjälpen måste komma nu. Jag behöver få den här diagnosen på den sjukdom som jag har vetat att jag har sedan i somras. Jag behöver medicin. Jag behöver hjälp. Jag behöver hjälp nu, för jag står snart inte ut mer. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag sitter i timmar på min säng och skriver. Hela dagar och hela nätter. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Mitt huvud är överfyllt med ord. Ord som beskriver allt det som händer i min kropp. Som beskriver alla de känslor som river mig itu. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Tårarna bränner bakom ögonlocken och jag mår illa. Jag sitter på cykel i gymmet och cyklar. Jag vill springa här ifrån. Jag vill ut. Ut ur min kropp. Igen är jag i allt det extrema. Det extrema som gör att jag nästan inte står ut. Nästan inte står ut pga en proteinshake. Som påverkar min hjärna, som påverkar mig. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Jag vill bara stänga ögonen och få ro. Jag är så trött. Jag är så förtvivlad. Jag mår så dåligt. Så dåligt att jag inte står ut. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Snälla någon hjälp mig. Snälla Gud hör mina böner. Jag menar det när jag säger det. Jag menar det verkligen när jag säger, att jag kan inte klara mer snart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;">Jag klarar snart inte mer. Snälla sluta, jag klarar snart inte mer. Snälla, snälla sluta. Sluta plåga mig så här. Snälla. Snälla, snälla.</span> </span></div>
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FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6484044597444847962.post-51223395269403060702016-01-15T18:57:00.000-08:002016-01-15T18:57:18.010-08:00Allt sägs i tystnaden <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: white;"><span style="font-size: large;">Det där ljudet av att det är så mycket man båda vill säga,</span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">men det är bara så mycket att det aldrig kan bli sagt. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Istället så hör man det bara i tystnaden. </span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Tystnaden mellan orden man säger, som inte alls var det som skulle bli sagt. </span></div>
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FiaLottahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03591191897101521286noreply@blogger.com0